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Not your mama's wedding

by Colleen Crawford

You know the feeling of hearing a song for the first time and never wanting it to end? It feels brand new yet familiar at the same time? Your wedding should feel like that! Marriage and its celebrations have been happening for centuries and while there is beauty in upholding old traditions, why not mix things up? Drop the rubric and write your own script.

When I get to be a part of other people’s day, I look forward to hearing the vow exchange and the promises that the two people make to each other. (I have yet to make it through a single vow ceremony with dry eyes.) On the contrary I often find myself thinking, “I do NOT want people to hear my vows.” Much to my delight, I learned that my partner felt the same way. Both of us are relatively shy in the shaking-voice-sweaty-palms kind of way when we must speak in front of people. After discovering this shared desire to have private vows, we decided to do just that. The exchange will happen across the water with just the two of us and our officiant while our guests observe from the other side of the lake…seeing, but not hearing. Yes, I recognize that as someone who loves to hear other people’s vows it seems a little tone-deaf to keep ours from our friends and family but that’s exactly my point, and prerogative. You do not have to do anything you don't desire just because your guests may or may not want it to go down that way.

Let me repeat that.
You do not have to do anything you don't desire just because your guests may or may not want it to go down that way.

Speaking of prerogative, your color scheme is yours and yours alone. I love seeing a mix matched bridal party or a groom in something other than black. Don’t want a champagne toast? DON’T HAVE ONE! We have all seen the cupcake table instead of a giant cake. We have seen doughnut walls, and cookie platters…the thing is, you can serve your dessert however you want in whatever way you dream. If you like it, we love it.

Your wedding day is an investment. I mean this both financially and emotionally. This is why I encourage people to stop leaning into the old traditions that don’t feel right for them and create a new path for themselves. If it doesn't fit, don't wear it. There is no right or wrong way to have a wedding. So, fight the urge to make everyone else happy. Let your vision come to life, no matter how “far out” people may think it is. After all, it's not their day.
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